Ruben - asking for Bec's hand in marriage
Ruben shares the account of the journey to Arizona to ask for her hand and announce the wedding plans to Bec's parents.
"The morning began with a barrage of hugs, hello's and Bloody Mary's. It had been at least five months since Bec and I had seen her parents. We had driven the night before to Arizona from Los Angeles, and a morning feast with Gary and Kathy (her parents) plus Aunt Sue was ripe and immanent. Little did they know what Bec and I had in store to reveal that weekend. The plan was to announce our engagement, but first it was essential that I ask Gary for his blessing to marry Bec.
Since I was a boy, I had always planned on asking for the parents blessing when I'd found who I wanted to marry. It must have been all those exaggerated black & white romantic films that I'd been bombarded by on television that repeated that ritual and inspired me to want to make that moment happen in my own life when the time was right.
Just towards noon I found myself in the backyard. The ground was strewn with colored rocks and lush grapefruit trees filled the landscape, aesthetically accentuating the moment. Two years ago, Bec and I had come to visit her parents. I can remember picking grapefruit for the first time with Gary. It was an amazing experience crawling under the thick green leaves of the tree's canopy, looking through to all the golden fruit above. Now, back in Arizona, I wanted to meet Bec's father under the grapefruit canopy again, to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage.
After kicking rocks around for a while, Gary accompanied me outside with a fresh round of afternoon cocktails. Before I could get him over to the tree, he started to talk to me about the rock garden that I'd helped him to start build two years ago. It was expanding; he'd built it out bit by bit by venturing to gather more stones. The foliage within the rocks had also been flourishing. I noticed that he'd cleared some room down at the bottom of the garden, and he talked about how he'd wanted to expand the garden there but didn't know what to put in the empty space. I looked at this new growth as a metaphor for my upcoming marriage to Bec. Switching gears back to my intent, I took a deep breath and reminded Gary of the first time we had visited them in Arizona a couple years back, and specifically of when we first broke bread at the dinner table and held hands in prayer. As I sat holding Gary's hand in my left and Bec's in my right, I knew then that the bond with Bec would lead to marriage. I finally asked for his blessing to marry his daughter. His face beamed with joy and he interrupted me saying, " Ruben are we really doing this right now?" I smiled back and looked in his eyes and said," Yes." He rushed at me like a bull to a matador and shook my hand firmly and gave me a hug stating that he could not be happier. The affection he displayed answered my question and I will hold that moment dear now and for as long as I live. Bec and I continued to celebrate throughout the night with her family; and if that celebrating weren't enough we even added on a cake-filled celebration of Bec's early birthday.
The next morning I was instructed to keep Kathy company as Gary, Aunt Sue, and Bec ran up to the local quarry for some more rocks for the garden. The chairs were strategically placed facing each other as the front door closed. Kathy and I sat in the newly painted kitchen looking at each other awaiting the break of the pregnant silence. She didn't give me a chance to be nervous, and opened up to me with such motherly warmth. I'll never forget the reassurance she gave eye-to-eye as I explained to her what marriage meant to me. She already knew that I was Bec's biggest fan and was perfectly matched for her, but having her acceptance at this moment was particularly important. I was emotional as I stated loving words about her baby girl. The remarks I was saying were true of course, but saying them to her mother under these circumstances made them resonate.
Later at brunch we officially announced our engagement to the whole family. I was truly purely happy that day."
~Ruben