Terri's work, shown at the WPA in Chinatown, was an ethereal and haunting visual poem about the American Civil War battle of Shiloh (Tennessee in 1862) which was the bloodiest battle in US history at that time. There is a piece (my favorite) made of shattered red glass on the floor representing the waters in Shilo that were indelibly and psychologically stained by the death of soldiers and their horses. Terri has a great talent for representing complex texts and ideas via eerie, haunting and poetically infused objects and images.       Terri will be translating the 'hearth' of the wedding - the place on which the couple will stand to get married. She will most likely make a piece using glitter and mirrored glass that will resemble the red glass piece in her current show but it is sure to be the psychological opposite and will celebrate the marriage with some sort of illuminating symbol.

www.terriphillips.com

Here is the video invitation to her show, filmed by John Pearson
the photo within the photo is by Raymond Doherty:

Terri Phillips | The Bloody Pond | WPA from fil ruting on Vimeo.

WPA 510 Bernard St. LA CA 90012

Here at HubbyCo, we were so excited by the recent news that New York would become the sixth (and largest state) to allow gay marriage. Only 44 more to go! Someday we're sure that equal rights will be a given, but in the meantime we'll celebrate each small victory along the way. Thanks to the people of New York who fought to make this happen.

To read article click here

I just got back from a weekend in Vegas, I thought I'd just show this image instead of any images of unhealthy Americans, saran-wrapped dresses and tiny shorts, vile colored drinks, the sound of people/s savings clinking down the tubes, karaoke wars, sloppy drunk mating hoots, smoking indoors, and lots of brown food.

As you may have already heard, Bettina's work is on view now in Santa Barbara as part of the Home Show Revisited, an exhibition put on by the Contemporary Arts Forum. The show partners homeowners with artists who are presented with the challenge of making a site-specific work. Bettina and I made numerous trips to SB during the time spent preparing for the show and given our friendly nature got to know Doug and Marian McKenzie (whose house Bettina's work is residing at now) quite well. We were struck by the freshness of their marriage and their life in general. There never seems to be a dull moment at the McKenzie house, which we tried to capture in this short video interview that explores their thoughts on marriage.

To watch interview, click here

"(He asked me)to come see him one last time before I got married, he planned this elaborate wooing, no girl could of resisted it." -Marian

"we actually participate in each others' interests." -Marian

"I love being married to someone that lets me invite this kind of opportunity into our lives..supportive, flexible, she goes with the flow." -Doug

Check this out ladies and gents. Our very own William Stone, the artist making the ring container, is being trumpeted (rightly so) for his recent show, FRAMED, that just closed at James Fuentes LLC in New York:

click here

Upon returning from a loving trip to see my family where they spoiled me rotten, I was met with such progress from Bec and Ruben regarding the workings of Get Hubbied. First I will say, simply and grandly, that they are taking such interest in each and every artist working on this project. They went to see Nicholas Kahn's show at Kopeikin Gallery a couple of weeks ago, they invited Roger Herman to their house last week, and over this weekend went to see the installation by Barbara Bestor at SCARC, as well as to correspond with artists, and complete all of the things I'd asked them to with more care and kindness than I could have imagined. I'll never get sick of this behavior!

Here's an excerpt from a letter they wrote to Nicholas Kahn, who is making the piece for Old New Borrowed Blue:

"Nicholas, it was so great to meet you at your opening at Kopeikin Gallery in Culver City. We know exactly why Bettina picked you for this project. The way you both portray old and new is simply awe inspiring...Here are our ideas for something blue:

Bec: I'm not sure if my idea will work for what you both had in mind so please let me know and I can figure out something else. I have two very special pieces of family jewelry from my Grandparents, one on my Mom's side and one on my Dad's side that I would like to use for this collaboration. Each of these pieces have a birthstone that represents the 3 generations of my family. These two pieces of jewelry are very dear to my heart. Both of my Grandparents passed away a while ago but, I have so many vivid memories of when they would wear them. To me these pieces of jewelry represent our family crest.

Ruben - For the last six years I have been working in film production. The company I work for do jobs that require me to build sets, set lights and props. I always use these blue shot bags that are filled with sand to keep lighting and grip stands from moving. Metaphorically they represent my becoming a more grounded adult - not only as an artist, but also in my relationships. These particular ones I propose for you to use are about 20 pounds each.

We are both feel so honored to have the chance to collaborate with you. Please let us what you are thinking and if you need any clarifying or if we need to change are ideas.

Thank you, R&B"

Again, here is the link to the Bestor exhibit, up through the 26th of this month: click here

and here is a couple of pics of their visit:

This afternoon Bettina and I were preparing packages for artists about Bec and Ruben as well as brief histories of the traditions their work in the wedding relates to. Below is a sample of what I gathered about the cake ceremony. We look forward to what Karen Lofgren does, our artist relegated to cake.

LET THEM EAT CAKE

Nowadays we might get excited about seeing a groom shove a sliver of cake in his new wife’s face, but if we were around during ancient Roman times the spectacle would have been much greater. The whole tradition of wedding cakes began as a way of sealing the deal so to speak; it was a symbol of the man’s new dominance over his wife, and the breaking of her virginal state.

The ritual of cake over time has lost its aggressive tone and taken on a new air of prestige. Instead of destroying the cake, we put it on display and even eat it. As sugar became more refined, cake icing got whiter, and as a status symbol couples would invest in the making their cake as white as possible.

The cake cutting ceremony can symbolize children and reproduction or the sexual union of the couple, with the use of a phallic symbol (knife) inserted into the cake. In the Middle Ages the wedding guests threw small sweet cakes instead, which preempted the large wedding cake of today.

No accounts tell of a special type of cake appearing at wedding ceremonies. There are, however, stories of a custom involving stacking small sweet buns in a large pile in front of the newlyweds. The couple would attempt to kiss over the pile. Success in the process was a sign that there would be many children in their future.

First appearing in the middle of the17th century and well into the early 19th century was a popular dish called the bride's pie. The pie was filled with sweet breads, a mince pie, or may have been merely a simple mutton pie. A main "ingredient" was a glass ring. An old adage claimed that the lady who found the ring would be the next to be married. Bride’s pies were by no means universally found at weddings, but there are accounts of these pies being made into the main centerpiece at less affluent ceremonies. The name "bride cakes" emphasized that the bride was the focal point of the wedding.

The notion of sleeping with a piece of cake underneath one's pillow dates back as far as the 17th century and quite probably forms the basis for today's tradition of giving cake as a gift. Legend has it that sleepers will dream of their future spouses if a piece of wedding cake is under their pillow. In the late 18th century this notion led to the curious tradition in which brides would pass tiny crumbs of cake through their rings and then distribute them to guests who could, in turn, place them under their pillows. The custom was curtailed when brides began to get superstitious about taking their rings off after the ceremony.

click here

This picture was taken year (ish) after my mom and dad first met (and there is no hidden meaning that the photo looks like its split in two, though it is poignant)

I don't talk on the phone very much with my Dad, well I don't talk on the phone very much at all, but with Dad, even more sparingly. Most of the time there's a weird delay when you talk to him, a gap, like you're on a long distance call from the 1970s. Its because he talks into the receiver and the part of the phone that is for listening is far away from his ear. Dad developed this habit in the first place by being a Dr. and recording patient's notes into a recorder. He talks like this in large segments covering all sorts of topics that bleed into each other with hardly any pauses between. I have become really good at being able to tell when the phone is back near his ear. Its a small window, and if I don't jump in there, the phone goes back into the primary position. During that small window I have the chance to reply to all the topics, and I have to do that in a big chunk with hardly any space between, otherwise the phone goes back to the primary position.

With that in mind, I called him yesterday, which is rare due to the above, and he began asking if I’d received the tornado kit he sent, and then went into warning me again about cancer-causing cell phone usage, and then about his upcoming road trip with mom. I noticed a softening of his voice that is rare, and an almost confessional tone. He told me he was really looking forward to the trip with her, and that they were getting really good at trips and having a lot of fun. He went on to tell me that he thinks they've rediscovered what it was in the very beginning, when they first met, that drew each of them to the other. Also that they are both focusing on the positives about each other, instead of the negative, which he admitted they’d both got really good at. If I had to pull just one quote from the conversation, it would have to be this one, which is referencing how frustrated he used to be with mom that she wasn't interested in reading the New York Times every day: "After all, I didn't marry your mother in order to find out and discuss what was going on in Czechoslovakia."

It was about as tender a conversation we've had in years. I also told him that perhaps now mom did know more about Czechoslovakia. He laughed and said that she sure has gotten better about calling him on his %^&*$#@! and that he didn't know where these trips were leading, but they are laughing about themselves about things they would never been able to laugh about years ago. He also lets her help with the driving on these new trips, which he never never let anyone do when I was growing up. So, times, they are a changin'.

I suppose what I'm getting at, though I would never suggest anyone take the road my parents have taken to get to where they are right now, is that perhaps people in the later chapters of their lives can come back together and rekindle the affection and appreciation for each other that has been dormant and buried by, in my parent's case, a couple of kids, a couple of pets and a few marriages and divorces.

I don't know how anyone could trump this meaning-full dress:

click here

Ruben shares the account of the journey to Arizona to ask for her hand and announce the wedding plans to Bec's parents.

"The morning began with a barrage of hugs, hello's and Bloody Mary's. It had been at least five months since Bec and I had seen her parents. We had driven the night before to Arizona from Los Angeles, and a morning feast with Gary and Kathy (her parents) plus Aunt Sue was ripe and immanent. Little did they know what Bec and I had in store to reveal that weekend. The plan was to announce our engagement, but first it was essential that I ask Gary for his blessing to marry Bec.

Since I was a boy, I had always planned on asking for the parents blessing when I'd found who I wanted to marry. It must have been all those exaggerated black & white romantic films that I'd been bombarded by on television that repeated that ritual and inspired me to want to make that moment happen in my own life when the time was right.

Just towards noon I found myself in the backyard. The ground was strewn with colored rocks and lush grapefruit trees filled the landscape, aesthetically accentuating the moment. Two years ago, Bec and I had come to visit her parents. I can remember picking grapefruit for the first time with Gary. It was an amazing experience crawling under the thick green leaves of the tree's canopy, looking through to all the golden fruit above. Now, back in Arizona, I wanted to meet Bec's father under the grapefruit canopy again, to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage.

After kicking rocks around for a while, Gary accompanied me outside with a fresh round of afternoon cocktails. Before I could get him over to the tree, he started to talk to me about the rock garden that I'd helped him to start build two years ago. It was expanding; he'd built it out bit by bit by venturing to gather more stones. The foliage within the rocks had also been flourishing. I noticed that he'd cleared some room down at the bottom of the garden, and he talked about how he'd wanted to expand the garden there but didn't know what to put in the empty space. I looked at this new growth as a metaphor for my upcoming marriage to Bec. Switching gears back to my intent, I took a deep breath and reminded Gary of the first time we had visited them in Arizona a couple years back, and specifically of when we first broke bread at the dinner table and held hands in prayer. As I sat holding Gary's hand in my left and Bec's in my right, I knew then that the bond with Bec would lead to marriage. I finally asked for his blessing to marry his daughter. His face beamed with joy and he interrupted me saying, " Ruben are we really doing this right now?" I smiled back and looked in his eyes and said," Yes." He rushed at me like a bull to a matador and shook my hand firmly and gave me a hug stating that he could not be happier. The affection he displayed answered my question and I will hold that moment dear now and for as long as I live. Bec and I continued to celebrate throughout the night with her family; and if that celebrating weren't enough we even added on a cake-filled celebration of Bec's early birthday.

The next morning I was instructed to keep Kathy company as Gary, Aunt Sue, and Bec ran up to the local quarry for some more rocks for the garden. The chairs were strategically placed facing each other as the front door closed. Kathy and I sat in the newly painted kitchen looking at each other awaiting the break of the pregnant silence. She didn't give me a chance to be nervous, and opened up to me with such motherly warmth. I'll never forget the reassurance she gave eye-to-eye as I explained to her what marriage meant to me. She already knew that I was Bec's biggest fan and was perfectly matched for her, but having her acceptance at this moment was particularly important. I was emotional as I stated loving words about her baby girl. The remarks I was saying were true of course, but saying them to her mother under these circumstances made them resonate.

Later at brunch we officially announced our engagement to the whole family. I was truly purely happy that day."

~Ruben

I loved watching this show, and always found it so amusing that many or most of the newlywed players didn't know or remember, even the most basic of trivia about each other. I think it should be mandatory to play this game until you know all the answers to all of the questions that have ever appeared on the show before being able to get married. Have a bit of fun with your spouse or partner tonight. I've picked 10 from the game show questions I found online. In the place of the word spouse or partner, I put the symbol: *

1. If your * could choose one thing of yours to get rid of, what would he/she choose? 2. If you told your * that tomorrow you would do any one item from his/her Honey-Do list, what would he/she choose? 3. You've gone to the 7-11 to pick up milk. On a whim, you decide to get your * a little surprise treat. What else will you buy besides the milk (at the 7-11)? 4. Fill in these blanks. My * may be the world's best: but he/she may also be the world's worst: 5. If your * had to change jobs with one of his/her friends, who would they choose? 6. What is the oddest location you and your * ever been over-affectionate? 7. A meteor is headed for your house. Your* has saved your family, pets, and the family photos. Your * has time to save one more item. What will he/she save? 8. When my * wakes up in the morning she/he’s likely to find my on his/her . (a classic from the original game show) 9. If your * could have constant access to one store, what store would it be? 10. Have them write the chore they least like to do and why.. "I hate because ___." Example: I hate doing laundry because it takes all day and makes the house hot.

Now that the Home Show in Santa Barbara has opened, I can finally settle back in to LA matters and focus on the very deserved R&B. They invited Tif and me over for a home-cooked meal a la Ruben. A cornucopia was laid out for us in their colorful, artful and charm-full abode with finesse. Of course we talked about the wedding logistical details, gave them a list of things to do, caught them up on where all the artists are in the process, who we need to meet with first and what steps to take, but more importantly, we bonded and laughed a bunch.

They showed us their rings. How's this for good mojo: Ruben: "Firstly Bec's mother, Kathy, brought her original wedding ring to Arizona to give to me. She had no idea of the news Bec and I would be bringing that weekend. My mother, Grace, hearing that Kathy was giving her ring, also wanted to contribute and she offered to solve the problem of no stone being on Kathy's original ring by giving a stone from a wedding ring that she no longer wore. Lastly, my father Jesse, who I am very close with, offered his original wedding band to me."

That would be a meaningful ring to wear, and even a reason to wear a diamond. I've never been quite fond of diamonds, but will be a diamond with some serious soul.

the first image shows Ruben's ring (on my gnarly fingers), and the second is Bec's (which will have the stone from Ruben's mom's ring added soon)

Some people do indeed radiate contentment in their couple-ness - Bec and Ruben have that market cornered; their house even seems to be smiling. I look forward to every single meeting, email and phone call, of which we will have many in the coming months.