GET HUBBIED

I am fortunate to be related to Tyler by blood (my father’s father is his father’s father’s brother) but lucky also to have worked with him on creative endeavors, seeing that he is not only a film editor, filmmaker and photographer of merit, but also with his own hubby, Gabriella Tollman, he is forging a side business of event photography, weddings being a focus of that venture.       Bec and Ruben showed him images of their clans and he made them comfortable with his approach to this project, which put their needs and respect for their families at the forefront. They will get the full-monty of wedding photography with the supreme benefit of having an artist interpret it for them. I have asked Tyler to edit the resulting photos for the exhibition that follows the wedding, so that the edit is his art. This way, the family wins, the couple wins, and GET HUBBIED wins. Win win win.  

tylerhubby.com, www.fotorealists.com

In a recent story coming out of Southern France, a very young bride to be was kidnapped and said to have gone missing for several days. Witnesses gave accounts of seeing her being lead away from a park and into a BMW by a companion associated with the abduction. The kidnapping became a national news story and sightings of this bride to be were reported from places as far away as Switzerland and Belgium. In the end her family confessed to having been a part of the kidnapping, a Chechen wedding tradition that involves a groom’s family taking the bride away a few days prior to her wedding.

I thought it a strange tradition and inquired further into Chechen rituals. There were other strange ones. During the third day of a traditional Chechen wedding festival guests are lead to a river where they through cornmeal pancakes into the water. Next the guests take guns and shoot at the pancakes, after which the bride draws a bucket of water from the river and the wedding party goes home. Some symbolism is easier to determine than others. Evidently as the guests are shooting an alleged water sprite rises to the surface to try and eat a pancake. Proceeding this water sprite homicide, the river has been cleansed and determined a safe place to visit.

In this light, the kidnapping seems completely rational. For more Chechen wedding traditions, look here

George is part of the furniture at a certain neighborhood outdoor cafe, so R&B, Tif and I met him at his home away from home where they serve coffee’s as big as your head. Our discussion’s springboard was our mutual facination of the ritual of the groom taking the garter off of the bride's leg (sometimes with teeth).      George brought up an interesting way of thinking of the approach, that to point out a ritual's ridiculousness could be most powerful if you were to exaggerate the content of the ritual. He suggests making it bolder, obvious and more sexual - to amp it up. Zippers, ribbons and pearls were materials discussed. His ideas will brew and the conversation will be an interesting road to the eventual piece.

With her characteristic playfullness, Bec volunteered to stand right up on the bar so that everyone would be able to see the garter being thrown clearly, after it was taken from her leg. R&B encouraged George to go in any direction that made sense for him/inspired him. They were open to celebrate the bawdy history of the object. So, he will make two pieces - one to be thrown to the single men (lucky guy who catches it), and one for the couple to keep.

www.georgestoll.net

To remind you, Here are a few slightly varying tellings of the ritual's origin:

Wikipedia:

A garter is often worn by newlywed brides. It is the groom's privilege to remove the garter and toss it to the male guests. The symbolism to deflowering is unambiguous. Historically, this tradition also relates to the belief that taking an article of the bride's clothing would bring good luck. As this often resulted in the destruction of the bride's dress, the tradition arose for the bride to toss articles of clothing to the guests, including the garter. Another superstition that has circulated is the male equivalent of the bride throwing her bouquet to the unmarried ladies, i.e., the unmarried male wedding guest who successfully caught the garter was believed to be the next man to be headed to the altar from the group of single men at that wedding.

and from thegartergirl.com:

The wedding garter is said to be one of the oldest wedding traditions, dating back to the Dark Ages. After the wedding festivities, guests would accompany the bride and groom up to their bedroom to ensure that they arrived safely and to wish them well. It was considered good luck for a guest to take home a little piece of the bride’s clothing. Over time, this ritual evolved into a wild wedding night romp where guests would tackle the bride, ripping her clothes off hoping for a piece of her attire. (It is also said that wedding guests did this to “help” the new couple along.) In the melee, the garter, which at that time was used to hold up a woman’s stockings, would get tossed and it was considered good luck for whoever caught it. Whoever caught the garter was the next to be married.

Wynn Austin Fine Weddings and Events:

The garter toss is one of the oldest customs surviving wedding rituals. The garter toss became common at weddings in the 1500s in France. Originally, it was related to the concept of consummation of the marriage. The bridal party would approach the bride and groom’s bedroom for proof that the deed was accomplished. They would then take an item of the bride’s clothing for good luck. This was often the garter used to hold up the bride’s stockings. The groomsman who retrieved the garter would then wear it in his hat for the remainder of the wedding celebration. During

the nineteenth century, as brides and grooms became uncomfortable with visitors in their chambers, the tradition evolved to that of the bride tossing her garter to the groomsmen before the end of the reception. However, the men would often become violent competing for the garter and would sometimes tear at the bride’s dress or even flip her upside down to take the garter off before she had a chance. Finally, the ritual changed to include the groom gaining full rights to the garter removal. This protected the bride from potential injury and put the onus on the groom to declare consummation of the marriage.

the history of the garter

The GARTER toss is one of the oldest surviving wedding rituals. It became common in 1500s France, its origins relating to the consummation of the marriage. Other sources describe the garter as representational the virginal girdle.

What is now construed as the sexiest part of a wedding, was at one time downright bestial. When the groom removed the garter, he was in essence publicly demonstrating  relinquishment of the bride's virginal status. The bridal party would accompany, or converge in the bride and groom’s bedroom for proof that consummation was indeed accomplished, and even to help or goad the deed to be done.

Historically, this tradition also relates to the belief that taking an article of the bride's clothing would bring good luck. As this often resulted from this wild wedding night romp, the bride would be tackled, disrobed by force, her dress destroyed just to claim a piece of her attire, and hence, luck, in spite of her liberty.

In order to keep the other men at bay, the groom would toss the bride's garter as a means of distraction. The tradition morphed and watered down into the bride tossing articles of clothing to the guests.

It is customary for the unmarried man who catches the garter to then place it on the leg of the unmarried woman who catches the bouquet. It is said that they two will be the next to marry (not necessarily each other). Rituals converge.  

Whereas most brides would be pulling pages from a  Martha Stewart magazine, or else pulling out their hair, we're meeting with artists to talk about their ideas. These past few weeks have been like a non-stop studio visit train and the ride continues...

Bec, Ruben, Tif and I visited Skip Arnold and Olivia Primé (a married couple as it so happens)  to check in on progress. Skip’s piece is based on the tradition of throwing rice.

Initially, Skip proposed a very romantic, somewhat uncharacteristic piece that had nothing to do with him being naked. I loved it! However, he then presented us with an alternate idea. We’ll see what happens - its up to the artists ultimately, within reason.

Bec, Ruben, Tif and I visited Skip and Olivia (a married couple as it so happens) to check in on progress. Skip will make a work based on the tradition of throwing rice. Olivia will be making the program. I will tell you that Skip originally proposed a very romantic, somewhat uncharacteristic piece that had nothing to do with him being naked. I loved it, not because he wasn’t naked but because it was surprising and apropo, but after he proposed an alternate idea, and we’ll see what happens - its up to the artists ultimately, within reason. Olivia will be making an interactive program - one in which each program will be like a single cell in a beehive, and as guests arrive and take their own progam, the structure will change, shrink and disassemble. Brilliant.

I was treated to some prime seats for the Dodgers last weekend. So I brought R&B and Tif to enjoy yet another outside-the-box meeting, while inside box seats.   Romantic messages scrolled consistently across massive digital fields alongside advertisements for beer, insurance, and junk food. Pixilated people proposed to each other on the big screen before a packed stadium of sports fanatics. It must be gratifying for some to proclaim one’s  love so publicly. I was quite moved watching the larger than life couples hugging after prosperous proposals.

And the Dodgers actually came way up from zero to zero to zero in the 9th inning - they scored twice from a really good hit. I don't know the lingo, but suffice it to say, I got caught up in a moderate amount of whooping, as did my cohorts. I treated my crowd of three, plus me, to a little celebratory bling:   

Its hard to keep up with all the Get Hubbied artist's accomplishments, but its fun to try and also to bump into them in the ether. Enjoy the set:
click here

Here is a photograph R&B found online to include in a thank you letter to Cal. It is a picture of Cal on a unicycle:

And here is a sneak preview of the invitation design. Cal Clements made the drawings, all of which are in his handwriting. I cut and pasted both image and text into the actual invite design. This was particularly meaningful to me, since Cal and I have collaborated on a children's book together, a mail-art project, and have been pen-pals for over 20 years, adding to the stream of collaborations past and future.

the rsvp card

the back of the invitation envelope

Click here for a mighty nice mention in the LA Times last Saturday by Christopher Knight re: her piece in The Home Show in Santa Barbara

Originally, we asked Karen to approach the cake topper as a sculpture. Usually, the delectable depicts a figurine of both bride and groom in full wedding attire, or some kind of representation of a couple. She proposed to also design the cake itself, and did so in the most incredibly singular way. What artist shouldn't think about their podium? Again, we're not going to give it away at this juncture, but what we can say is that this is going to be a visually stunning rare dessert.

Yesterday I was sitting in the car with Bec and Bettina, waiting to meet Tom Peters (a friend of Hubby's in the catering business) and it dawned on me that whether or not Bec was getting Hubbied, I'd still be sitting in her car waiting to meet the caterer. Bec and I have been close friends since she moved to LA seven years ago and so when she and Ruben became the official Get Hubbied couple, I was not only excited to be working with these positively radiant people, I had the double pleasure of being able to spend this time helping to make a dear friend’s wedding really special.

Throwing rice and old shoes at the end of the wedding ceremony customarily has its origin with the ancient Assyrians and Egyptians. They gave or traded sandals as a symbol of good faith when striking a bargain. In the case of marriage, the bargain was the transfer of a father's authority over his daughter to her new husband. The bride's father would then give the groom one of her old shoes and the groom would tap the bride over the head with it. This act symbolized the groom's acceptance of his new responsibility.

For the Assyrians and Egyptians rice was symbol of fruitfulness, so throwing it over the new couple was graciously intended as a sign of good wishes. Throwing confetti over newlyweds has its origins in the pagan rite of showering the couple with grain,  a symbol of fruitfulness. In Morocco, newlyweds are struck with figs, dates and raisins, thought to bring a “fruitful” union to the couple. In general, throwing anything over the newly married couple is representational of fertility. In Italy this includes sweets, and it’s even rumored that in some European countries they throw eggs.

Throwing rice has primarily been replaced by throwing birdseed due to a wild but untrue rumor that injesting the rice could cause birds serious damage. To date not a single bird death has been reported as a result of ingesting rice.

In Morocco, newlyweds are struck with figs, dates and raisins, thought to bring a “fruitful” union to the couple. For the most part, the throwing of anything is meant to represent fertility. In Italy this includes sweets, and it’s even rumored that in some European countries they throw eggs.

A delightful read on Abels' work (portrait artist for Get Hubbied) by Geoff Tuck, Notes on Looking.

"Where the hell will you be on Saturday, July 23? Say it aloud with me: “I’m going to Bergamot!”yesterday and I am excited. Try to repress an excited Geoffrey.

Abel Baker Gutierrez has an exhibition opening at Luis de Jesus in Bergamot on July 23. Swimming, Gutierrez’ show is called, and its opening coincides with Shoshana Wayne’s getting-to-be-notorious Christian Cumming-Doug Harvey-curated madhouse of an exhibition, Chain Letter. Where the hell will you be on Saturday, July 23? Say it aloud with me: “I’m going to Bergamot!”

Ooh. Abel Baker G is showing a video, too. Guaranteed to raise the ire of someone out there, these images and a film of troublingly, if quietly, sexualized Boy Scouts and boys playing. It’s funny how context has become everything for us today – as the press release points out Thomas Eakins made similar images. He’s ok, a hero even. But he did it then, when we can presume an innocent audience. (Or can we?) And Eakins wasn’t queer. (Or was he?) And we (or “Them,” depending on your point of view) are more advanced and sophisticated about these things. (And also our culture has become a culture of implacable moralizers. Huh. Are we more advanced and sophisticated? Hell – I’m not. I haven’t even figured out Joseph Kosuth yet.)"

Do attend Abel's upcoming show:

Swimming JULY 23 – AUGUST 27, 2011

Artist Reception: Saturday, July 23, 5-8pm Luis De Jesus 2525 Michigan Ave., Bergamot Station F2 Santa Monica, CA http://www.luisdejesus.com/